There are several definitions of the word devotion we could use…there is the church word for devotion like devotion to God or perhaps some of you may have heard the words “doing devotions” which usually refers to a kind of bible study. Outside of church the word devotion may denote thoughts of loyalty, love, dedication as in we are devoted to our families, our work, our causes, our traditions. It can be a warm word.
But when I did some research, I found this is not how the word devotion was first interpreted and the more I learned the more I wondered if we have made this word far too soft.
The Latin devovere meant to vow, to consecrate, to give over completely. In ancient Roman tradition, devotio could describe the solemn act of giving oneself and one's fate to the gods, sometimes ultimately through the sacrifice of your life. The word also carried darker meanings: to consign to destruction, to curse, to doom.
I find that strangely compelling. Somewhere along the way, devotion became gentler. What if today we consider how to bring it back to its original intensity.
What if instead of “I care deeply about something or I dedicate myself to this” what if we use the word devotion to mean that I have given myself completely to it…to the death of all else that gets in the way? That I consign to destruction the things in my life that no longer serve me, that I curse and doom the negative ways I think about myself, that I consign to destruction, living my life for someone else. We devote ourselves to a solemn act of giving oneself fully to a life as you commit to be? Come hell or high water?
How’s that sound? Does that sounds a little 007? Maybe somewhat extreme?
For some of us,using the softer definition of devotion over the course of our lives we have been devoted to being good daughters and sons, parents, partners, employees, friends and members of our communities. Perhaps we have given ourselves to being useful, responsible, successful, accommodating and productive. Important and worthy things.
But I want us to be a little rebellious this morning and turn away from all of the ideas of being devoted to something external and instead I would like us to consider using this more intense definition of devotion and applying it to the question… what if I decided to be first fully devoted to myself.
What if I were to make a solemn commitment to my own life?
What if I were to say: My life is mine to live. I will no longer give it away merely because someone else thinks I should. I will not abandon what I know about myself in order to remain acceptable. I will listen to the voice inside me, pay attention to what gives me life and what diminishes it, take my longing seriously, honour what I have learned, and allow myself to change. When something I once believed no longer belongs to me, I will have the courage to let it go.
That sounds like devotion. It is not soft. It has teeth.
Being devoted to ourselves does not mean always doing what we feel like doing. Sometimes it demands the opposite. If I am devoted to my wellbeing, I may have to say no. If I am devoted to my integrity, I may have to disappoint someone. If I am devoted to my growth, I may have to leave what is familiar.
There is a severity in that choice. We have turned devotion into affection, when perhaps it was always closer to commitment—not to an institution, a doctrine, or someone else's idea of who I should be, but to the life that is asking to be lived through me.
How is this sitting for everyone?
Now how is this related to our sense of spirituality?
Over the past year we have talked about how being present to joy, to awe, to hope, to compassion, to the earth and to the sacred, however we describe that, is the key to living our lives in a state of awareness, connection. I believe we cannot be fully present to the sacred, to divine energy, to the earth, to each other, while remaining absent from ourselves. If spirituality asks us to listen deeply, to live truthfully, and to meet life with an open heart, then abandoning our own inner knowing cuts us off from the very ground of that practice.
Fierce devotion to ourselves is not a retreat from spiritual life; it is what makes spiritual presence possible. When I am willing to inhabit my own life without apology, I can meet mystery, silence, beauty and sorrow as the person who is actually here. I am devoted to myself first and foremost at the cost of the things that are no longer serving me.
This kind of devotion to ourselves is radical: it is a commitment, refusing to abandon ourselves.
And this devotion does not end with us. The more fully we belong to ourselves, the more fully we can offer ourselves to the world—not from depletion, fear, obligation or the desperate need to be needed, but from freedom. When we stop spending our lives trying to remain acceptable, that life becomes available for courage, compassion, creativity and service. We do not contribute less because we refuse to abandon ourselves; we contribute more honestly, more powerfully and more completely. Our presence becomes a gift because it is finally our own to give.
Thoughts? How is this sitting?
We were taught devotion to family, work, faith, community and being needed. But who taught us that our own lives could be worthy of such fierce commitment? And devotion demands that I return—not once, but repeatedly. Perhaps that is what makes it a spiritual practice: returning to what matters, to ourselves, to the Earth, to unanswered questions, to this moment and checking that what matters, what we are devoted to still aligns.
I wonder if we might reclaim this word, not as something gentle or dutiful, but as something fierce.
What if devotion means: I will not abandon myself. I will listen. I will honour what I know. I will make room for what is becoming. I will protect what matters, release what no longer belongs, and show up for my own life at the cost of what no longer serves me.
Perhaps the deepest form of devotion is not giving ourselves over to something outside us at all. Perhaps it is finally being willing to give ourselves fully to the life that is ours.
So I want to leave us with a question that feels bigger than What are you devoted to?
What would change in your life if you became completely devoted to yourself…to stand beside that person—to listen to her, trust her, protect her, make room for her, and become unwilling to abandon her?
May we have the courage to dedicate ourselves first to ourselves
May we become fiercely present to the life and deep connections that are ours.
And may we know with certainty that we are fully worthy of our own fierce rebellious, committed devotion.
May it be so.